Ex-Orange leader on parades body its good to see that the parades commision has changed, david burrows who became known because of drumcree,and resigned as a leader this year because of personal reasons but is still a member will join donald mackay also an orange man and former ulster unionist councillor and rodger poole a former trade union man from england as well as joe hendon a former sdlp.anne monaghan vilma patterson and alision scott mckinley will make up the rest of the panel lets hope they allow all marchs as s/f say its an ireland of equals or is that just for the press.
on saturday the blacks march for lundy they have said they will still march despite the best funeral and why not after all its not a state funeral after all .

how quickly she's growing up now she needs her tea to watch seaseme street in the morning.Liam left his tea and instead of saoirse dipping her dummy she drank most of it the proper way how long before she want coffee?

Sunderland 0-2 Liverpool
luis garcia scored after 30 minute's followed by a goal from gerrard but sissoko was sent off and cisse was nt started after he cracked it after being replaced on saturday.CROUCH STILL CANT SCORE but he's a great team player and his time will come.LIVERPOOL are now 4th 12 points behind chelsea and a game in hand the real test will come tuesday the 6th when we play chelsea in champions leauge we will see if they beat us 4 nil this time i doubt it as we are inproviing.
sat we play wigan and alough they started off well its a shame that we will beat them and help ourselfs climb even futher .

Women Behind Five Per Cent Of Sex Abuse Cases
women commit one in every 20 sex offence's against children .A report nspcc from northern ireland england and wales has found it is difficult for childwelfare professionals to identify because they can be carried out in the guise of childcare.
dr lisa bunting policy researcher for the nspcc in northern ireland who published women who sexually offend against children also found different professional perceptions to female sex offenders compared with males. no kidding even her report sexually offend where as its usually sexually abuse if its a male offend seems to tone it down in my eyes i could be wrong .but being abused as a child by a older girl not the same as a woman doing it but as damaging in my opinion.

Seems if your an actor you can turn up to work stoned and when you get fired you get a payout of 200'000 dollars? shane connor a.k.a joe scully was awarded that amout after claining he was unfairly sacked in 2003 because of negligance and misconduct after he had recived his final written warning 5 months earlier.Seems he would turn up with drug hangovers and would tell the cast to not to take direction . but according to the judge he did nt breech his contract , now why did nt i get one of those when i worked for chiquita i was sacked for using drug's even though i never used them while i was working i was on 2 weeks hoilday and had hard time comming back to work because my ex partner had attempted suicide it rocked me bad and i went on a drug binge my employers heard about this and said i had to go for a test with there dr to see if i was fit to return to work i did and ended up having the higest ever recorded test for speed and pot in victoria's history a record im proud of because if you are going to do something do it big i say .but the reasons behind my drug binge was hopefully id never wake up at least no one would have felt bad they would have just said bloody junkie and then no guilt but GOD had other plans for me and kept me safe which i thank him every day now .

Four arrests over 1972 bombings
A sinn fein assemblyman and a sports commenter are belived to been arrested in connection with the no warning car bomb in claudy in londenderry .a woman has also been arrested in this matter . If francis brolly is indeed responcable for this act first will he serve time after all it did happen before 1998 g.f.a and it will show again why unionist's dont want to share with sinnfein how can anyone be expected to sit and govern with men who have killed and clearly have no remorse otherwise they would have admitted there crime's and serve time so anyone who say's im sorry after the fact is only sorry that the have been caught.Still everyone is innocent untill proven guilty so for the sake of the future of northern ireland i hope its wrong otherwise sinn fein will be shown in there true light and the unionist s will have every right no to goverern with killers and anyone who says they should should be ashamed of them selfs .

Megan called today boy that was quick . They got the results on fri and she will be giving it to her boss this week so i should get a reply by the 12 to the 14 same time as the medical board ,i'm a bit worried now would love a smoke to calm down just to take the edge off this waiting is the hardest part wondering what ill do if it goes against me do i fight it from here or head back and do it there .I need to be here a year to become a defacto by law so if i wait will it drive me crazy or if i go will i get back in ?so many different things and it could go in my favour but if it does nt ive already got my reply in mind this one's for the medical board.DEAR Board i am writing to say why i think you are wrong to deny me an oporunity to go before me i know you stated extreme predujidce but in all fairness to myself i never got before the panel the first time your decision was based on the investagtor, who was the second one i had got the first was helpfull and had a face to face with me ,but the second one who was assigned to me never even had the decency to meet me she rang me and her question to me was what colour pube's did the dr have ? i told her that i could nt rem and im pretty sure my eye's were closed .now after i said i could nt rem she made her decision that there was nt enough evendince to go futher i later recived a letter from the medical board to that fact so in reality he never faced the board before. so should nt be classed as extreme prejudice also my barrister in her opening remarks stated that the panel that was hearing the matter had no right or jurisdiction to hear the matter in hand.

I took matters into my own hands and rang the office of police interigty as i have been waiting 2 months and sent 2 emails to the officer investigating my complaint yet nothing. i talked to megen and she told me she's going to chase it up as she had nt heard a thing .maybe the inspector is really sick but at least i could have had a reply .so ill hear in 2 days fingers crossed

WHAT FUTURE NORTHERN IRELAND?
well it seems the british goverment has sold out the unionist people for peace with the ira(we shall never yeild to terrorist's)sinn fein seem to know that and are already planning there united ireland .As for unionists its hard myself am torn i think id rather have a independent northern ireland as im sure that even though we hear it will be an ireland of equels thats not what we will get .For a start if there is a united ireland will the gardi drop the condition that you have to speak irish i hear they are for the immigrants but will it apply to northerners.will the oo be able to march anywhere as it will be a land of equals so no need for secterian ghetto's like we have now so there will be no nationalist or loyalist areas so in theory there will be no objection to the parade's? will the tricolour be removed as it has failed in its attempt to repesent the people of ireland many say the the orange repesents the protestants . Yet the northern irish football supporters gladly wear the green and white but not the orange that is supposed to repesent then .green repesents irishness to the world so does the flag mean protestants are nt irish? if the unionists are nt happy going to a united ireland can they have there own country or shall the be made to join a country that they dont wish to belong to these issue's need to be adressed .

DEMORACY IN ACTION four u.s. soldiers will face diciplinary action for burning the bodies of 2 taliban 'REBELS', but they will not charged with crimes because their action were motivatied by hygienic concerns, the military said yesterday.this was after footage showed U.S. soldiers using the cremation to taunt other islamic militants ,an act that has caused outrage in afghanstan.as i said in an earlier post islam bans cremation a fact these soliders knew and used to taunt others . according to maj gen kamiya said two junior officers who ordered the bodies burned would be officilly repimanded for showing lack of cultural and religous understsanding, the to service men will be repminded for using loudspeakers to taunt , seems they were trying to be hygienic yes and bush won the 2000 election fairly look out for that pig shit because really they do fly ?

IRAN TURNS TABLES ON U.S
Irans hardline president said yesterday the bush administration should be tried on war crime's charges and he denounced the west for pressuring Iran to curb its controversial nuclear program.
"you who have used nuclear weapons against innocent people ,you have used uranium ordnance in iraq, should be tried as war criminals in courts," mahmoud ahmadinejad said in an apperant referance to the united states .
ahmadinejad did not elaborate, but he was apperantly refering to the U.S . militarys reported use of artillery shells packed with depleated uranium which is far less radioactive than natural uranium and is left over from the process of enriching uranium for use as nuclear fuel. since the iraq war has started in 2003 AMERICIAN forces have fired at least 120 tonnes of shells packed with depleated uranium an extremely dense material used by the U.S. and british miltaries to penetrate tank armour. once fired the shells melt vapourize and turn to dust. he also said who are you to dare accuse iran of suspicous nuclear activity ahmandinejad said on national televised program. The only problem with his call is the U.S refused to sign up to the i.c.c the also did nt sign up to the landmine agrement because it would cost their company's money .was nt it the same for the koyoto agreement green back before the world .

Man City 0-1 Liverpool
well it was a win but an uninspiring first half that saw cisse subustited after half time thing dont look good with him he was rather upset with it.But we now move into 6th place and still got a game in hand two on chealsea so if we win them we could go up to second
over in northern irealand glentoran had a good win 3-0 over the other glens glenavon still 2 points behind the blues after they had another big win

Well the biggest mistake i could have done i did it i let saoirse walk in the mall the other day now every day she want to walk and she takes her time she went into a jewelers the other day already she thinking ahead and she is a terrible flirt is she knows someones watching her she puts her smile on and it's a beauty . I get comments every day about how cute she is or what a pretty girl and her eyes she got both emma's and my eyes light blue on the inside and darker on the out . tonight we went out for dinner and she was in her element emma's friends who moved from here to cold lake were in town and everyone got together it was a great night and i was nt anixous much which make's a change but i have the tale end of a cold so that did nt help at least one other person did so i did nt feel so bad ,saoirse cut her lip open again i think the same cut still healing. liam was strangly quite especially after he found out they had no ice cream left taylor was happy to see her friend and boy did they talk all in all a good night.

well being from northern ireland i should say a bit about george best even though he played for them .as a footballer his ability cannot be questioned as someone said one of the greatest never to play in a world cup.but like most other men from northern ireland in those days he liked to drink and he knew how to so he tragilly cut short his life and im sure it will be one of the biggest funerals northern ireland has seen in many years and it will bring both side's of the community together for that day so george you will have done something not many have done before you if only you played for liverpool .

heres the words used in the fued that ui does nt want to let go i first said more fool you then as you can see he responded ,
paisley is nt a member of orange order more fool youand you forgot to mention the good charity work thats is done and where the proceeds are going
Hey william,Have a look at this.Be careful about who you call a fool.United Irelander Homepage 11.23.05 - 3:22 am #
i did and saw his black sash look your self he's amember of the black or independent orange order i called you a fool and does it hurt when you are wrong
then he came out with this and it shows anger now if someone had just shot me id try and wrestle the gun away so i would nt be shot again its just natural instinct,when someone want to kill you you try and defend your self .
For f*ck's sake Ward was the intruder and tried to hit Nally! If he was in fear of his life he should have left instead of attacking Nally AFTER he was shot.You called me a fool earlier but I think you are an out and out gobshite!
LOL! Oh man! Now THAT'S amusing. Calling someone a gobshite is funny more than anything else. It's like calling someone a dope. Are you sure you're Irish? I've never encountered someone from Ireland so sensitive! The idea that you would threaten violence over being called a gobshite is madness!
now im over sensitive well there are some words that get to me like everyone has a word that just winds them up and anything that refers to be being stupid or "a dope" and i never actually threatened violence i asked him if he wanted to meet and see if he wanted to call me them names to my face would i have had a fight with i cant say but the point is when this man or boy im not sure of his age keeps refering to my spelling and grammer he's trying to think himself better but in all truth he's a equal just like we all are we are born we live we die all the same yet its our journey through live that matters thinking your better than another person because they dont spell as well. then are you a better man i dont think so i could get my point across in person better than i could in writing but the main point is dont be a pompas ass

A 29 year old man from downtown edmonton called the police to say he was been burgled and he had licened guns on the premises . the police rushed there to discover thousands of ammo some strown across the floor, and the man high on crack he had been playing with the weapons and ammo . the police arrested the man and conficated the guns which included a dozen semi automatic and shotguns all that were registered and 3 small calibre hand guns that were not registered at least he never shot the intruder who turned out to be himself being pariniod

now thats what i call a catch of the day?
fishermen netted a unexpected chrissy pressy hauling in bottle's of cream liquer near the english coast.The bottle of carolans irish cream were part of a contianer load that was lost at sea the specially packed bottle's even had there own glass's they were supposed to be going to spain but ended up in the bay of biscay, the tipple is made from IRISH whisky double cream and honey and is named after a 17th centry blind bard and harpist Turlough O'carolan seem they had the luck of the irish with that catch of the day

I offered a gentlemans challange and it was refused and thats fine thats the matter over and done with. i do not post as another person and i do not hold grudges if im insulted i get angry as does anyone but i forgive also might take me a couple of hours to relax but i belive in karma and i dont want bad karma to come back for no good reason so i let things go many years ago i used to hold on to anger .But after a couple of years of hell i ve learnt to forget about things that are nt important to me ,one thing i will say is that never have i tried to be someone else i ve no reason to ,make love not war recive head not lead .

LIVERPOOL Go into the knockout stages it was nt a impressive game but they ended up with a nil nil score mind you there was enough shots crouch had 10 just cant get them in his day will come ,next game's against chelsea and we will see how much they have improved.
GREY CUP WEEK HERE IN CANADA Edmonton take on montreal so its eskimo's v the alouette's week ends comming and we play man city so good luck to the boys. the glens menwhile take on glenavon

Its 3 weeks till my decision and the tension is mounting i feel so trapped if i was there id be climbing the walls but over here its not as bad saoirse is keeeping my mind off it but its always there ,i feel like im going to be victimised again i have already been the last time was the police and the med board its worse when the say we belive you but .what but its just hard thinking that this man who abused his power is going to get away scot free im hoping that they see reason this time.
and talking of abuse there seems to be more women teachers debra lafave escaped jail after pleading guilty to having sex with a 14 year old boy she will serve 3 years of house arrest and 7 of probation .im melbourne a teacher got 6 months jail another female she said he did the running.in albany new york another female teacher also got 6 months after pleading guilty the judge said she had crossed the line but she was a victim to the boy was 16 and it was stat rape he was not victimised she also admitted to having sex with 2 17 year olds the judge said in handing down his finding the students manipulated used and sexually abused the teacher there has been many more case's where women teachers has done this and they seem to be treated differently.recently a teacher in edmonton a male did the same thing yet he is acussed of abusing the girls that he had sex with why are women seen as victims or just what the boy wanted . the point should be that these people have been trusted with our children and abused there power they are the adults in these case's and should have walked away if it was a relionship out of school and they were nt pupils then it could be looked at different but when someone is in a place of trust they adhere to that priciple

the orange order of ireland has beeen called bigoted for not allowing catholics but its a protestant org so why would a catholic want to join its not that they hete catholics just dont agree with the papel stance like if your child is born from a mixed marrige it must be brought up in the catholic faith no matter what .The intensity of anti-Orange material in much of the media in the aftermath of the Whiterock violence was ferocious. Much of it was from predictable quarters, but it was still hard to take, as most of it as far as the Orange Institution was concerned, was ill-informed and inaccurate.
In many instances it amounted to downright lies, and these were not always corrected.
The Talkback programme on BBC Radio Ulster was bombarded with contributions from enemies of the Orange Order, and also from so-called 'moderate' critics.
When criticism was justified, it had to be acknowledged, and one has to accept the very good case presented by the Rev. Alan McCann, the highly respected Lurgan-born minister.
Mr. McCann pulled no punches, reminding listeners of what the Orange Order is all about, and the need for Orangemen and all connected with the Order to witness in the right way for Protestantism.
No-one could quarrel with his analysis. But there were others whose contempt and hatred for the Orange Order came through loud and clear.
An even stronger case could have been made. It is a fact that the Orange Order has no laws barring anyone of any race or colour from its membership - the one necessity is that an applicant must be a Protestant.
Anyone with any knowledge of the Orange Order would know that there are over a dozen Orange Lodges in Togo and Ghana, and there are Lodges in Canada comprised of First Nations people - members of the Red Indian community.
But then, of course, republicans with an anti-Orange agenda would not be interested in the facts - they prefer lying propaganda.

BANNED FOR A WEEK it seems tha united irelander was upset that i challanged him and his manhood but the thing is i would nt waste my karma on him just wanted to see his reaction and it was as i guessed its easy to insult someone over a screen like calling them a gobshite and many other names he has called me .But when the table is turned he's like the little boy who take's his ball home when he does nt get his own way.Like padrig nally a man who excuted a petty thieve no matter what kinda of spin you try and put on it he was a cold blooded murderer and is in the right place.

this is the sight i used to see everytime i looked out my window in white city (loughveiw) for the first few years i used to think it was england across the sea .When i say sea i actually mean belfast lough now can you think of a better veiw, mind you on a clear day if you were bown at the beach you could see scotlands coast i used to wonder what it would be like to travel .and one day i hitched from stranear to portgordon where i lived i was 30 at the time .and i lived up there for a while and stayed in the findhorn foundation campsite for 2 weeks now there was a strange place people paid them to work for them that's a great scam

It seems there is a lot of debate about wheather bush and his cronies lied about the info before the war and should the u.s get out .Well no they should nt i think they went in for the wrong reasons and many innocent people have died including many u.s soldiers .But they are bogged down there now untill its stable otherwise we have to go through it all over .yes bush should face the wrath and war crimes courts but the u.s has to see this one out now ,

Here's a pic of me and saoirse and a big bear at the mall .I not the kinda person who like's pic taken but you have to once in a while,Tonight i was lucky (sarcasim)as we went and got our family portraits ive had more pics taken in the last three years since ive been with emma that i have in the 37 before that i have one of me at 10 and one at 15 they are my child hood photo's . but tonight's were the hardest just staring at a cam untill they got saoirse to laugh and it took a while but after 15 or so gruelling mins of pics we got to wait till they were processed on the comp then we got to pick which one's we would buy then the paying and that was nt quick either the shielia took ages but was nt her fault she was learning we all got to learn sometime but finally it was over and at least dont need another family pic unless we have another kid and thats a couple years at least just enough time to recover .

Here's a funny story from melb .COMEDY of errors has seen three friends nabbed for drink-driving at the same booze bus within hours of each other.The two men and a woman were caught as they tried to help each other get home after the first man returned a positive breath test.
Police have labelled it a case of dumb, dumber and dumbest.
Sen-Constable John Liddell, of Epping traffic management unit, said the farce started when the first two men were pulled over after doing a U-turn in their silver Toyota in a bid to escape a booze bus on Childs Rd, Epping on Friday night.
"We saw the car do a U-turn and we pulled him over and took the driver back to the bus for a test which came back positive," Sen-Constable Liddell said.
"A bit later the passenger has got behind the wheel and driven towards the bus before doing a U-turn and being pulled over.
"He actually went over more than the first bloke."
The first man, a 30-year-old from Epping, had a reading of 0.119.
Just 11 minutes later his friend, 26, from Brunswick, blew 0.134 -- almost three times the legal limit.
The two men were taken to the Epping police station where the second man rang his girlfriend to pick them up.
On her way to the station, the 33-year-old Reservoir woman was breathalysed at the same bus and blew .08.
"I thought it was madness," Sen-Constable Liddell said.
"They all knew the bus was there, they were like moths flocking to a bright light."
He said to add to the farce, the two men were also driving while disqualified and their car was unregistered.
He said the two men would be charged on summons with drink driving and other traffic offences. The woman will face drink driving charges.
"The guys are looking at the best part of two years without their licences," Sen-Constable Liddell said.
A DANDENONG man, 23, has been caught four times over the blood alcohol limit -- the morning after a drinking binge.
The man was pulled over in Burke Rd, Ivanhoe, about 7am on Sunday after being seen driving on the wrong side of the road. His blood alcohol reading was .201, police said.

ITS YOUR MOVE ARNIE
The gov of california arnold schwarzenagger has been urged by rapper snoop dog to grant clemancy to stanley tookie william's so he can continue to work with young people,
"stanley tookie william's is not just a regular old guy he's a inspirator" the former crip member told a crowd of 1,000 outside the main gate's of san quentin state prision."his voice needs to be heard" he is due to be executed dec 13 he has exchasted his appeals and is asking for clemancy. william's has won worldwide acclaim for his childrens books urging kids to stay out of gangs among other peace preaching efforts .now he's done a crim and should stay in prison for the rest of his natural life but if he can inspire the young to stay out of gangs then give him that chance to .

ive always had an affinity with different people i seem to get on with anyone except snob im not good enough for them but who would want to be it must be so hard thinking you are better than everyone else me im the same as them when they die they rot or burn the same as me . i used to work in a engeneering factory and there was a man there and all he did was whistle it annoyed everyone there except me i thought he's happy so why bother getting upset and the truck driver was a veitnam vet he was quite but great person untill they hired a asian he never got on with him dont know why. but after a while i moved down the back closer to the whistling guy and we used to talk and when he saw another bloke who was slightly retarded but still a great guy he would start whistling and the bloke who was mentally challanged used to get upset they had a love hate relionship but it was all good fun ,i asked whistling guy why he did it and he said because it annoyed everyone in the place i said good reason . he later invited me to his barbi something he never did with the others and boy did we get wasted i took my friend pygmy with me and 2 bottles of tequilla i rem we drank one and a half then decided to leave as we were walking to our taxi i dropped the bottle and we got on the ground trying to lick it up . i drove home we were living in a caravan park so i suppose we were trailer trash , and as we walked back to the caravan pygmy tripped over a speed hump the manager started on gavin and i steped in and started he called the cops next thing im getting a face full of gravel we put up a great fight so im told but we both woke up in the cells i looked at my face and it had gravel burns all on one side . we got chucked out of the caravan park on monday when i went to work a older woman said to me i'd hate to see the other guy i told her it was the cops and she said hmmm then laughed .so maybe im not the greatest guy around but i m not the worse as i never hurt a innocent person .

OTTAWA a massive federal goverment dept is under fire for a racist new hiring policy that rejects workers based on skin colour and sex.
deputy minister david marshall of public works canada issued a memo last week outlining special measures to ensure a more diverse workplace under the new policy,outside applicants must be women,visible minorities,aboriginals or people with disabilities-but able bodied white males need not apply. one job seeker a well educated caucasian male called the policy offencive , maybe he could go to the latin awards or even the black awards a white man s place is harder these days we are paying for our fathers and for fathers (just like unionists) policys can 't even have a male gym but women can as they say its for safety so in our p.c society the table has turned try and have a white music awards and think of the outcry ,got to love equal rights

the orange oscars its good to see something different from the orange order
LOYAL brethren are being rewarded for their commitment to the Orange Order's religious and cultural aims in the first ever Orange 'Oscars'.
Lodges and members of the Order are in line for the inaugural awards which will be conferred upon the best fundraising lodge and the lodge with the best banner.
Awards will also go to the lodge and member demonstrating the greatest community involvement in a ceremony being staged tonight at the Shankill Road Spectrum Centre.
The presentations will form part of a gala evening which will feature the trademark sounds of the Flutes of the Mourne Ensemble, the Dunloy Accordion Band, Culture Beat and the Conlig Fife and Drum Band.
All the proceeds of the occasion will be donated to the Togo truck appeal, which is raising money to provide Orangemen in west Africa with a special vehicle to carry out social and medical work in the country's interior.
Dr David Hume, the Order's director of services, said people from all over Ireland were expected to attend the awards ceremony.
"These Orange Oscars have been designed specifically for those lodges and individuals who work so hard behind the scenes to further the Order's religious and cultural aims, often with little recognition outside their own district.

there is going to be a strip a thon for a exotic dancer who mangled her leg after getting thrown throug the sun roof of her car when it turned over .It also landed on her hence her mangled leg .it was going to be amputate it but there was a specialist in veins and arteries who managed to save it. her thoughts before the crash she says she was thinking "my life is really good i'd just got a boob job and bought a new car lucky she had her own air bags

A MAN WITH NO MORALS
apparently thats me for saying that a man padrig nally should have got more than six years for shooting a man who had robbed his house, now if he had just shot him once during the act id say self defence, but he shot the man beat him across the head and body 20 times then went and reloaded his shotgun stood over the man and fatally shot him the state pathologist said .Now when does a victim become an aggressor after he cross's the line as mr nally did.Some reports said he suffered anixety i sure know about and when i was at my worse and was nt getting justice i thought that i would kill the man who abused me then i thought that would make me just as bad as him and it would take the rest of my life away .now i know mr nally was let down by the gardi if he was burglared a couple times and was in fear of his property being taken again but he also sat with his shotgun everynight and we know that when you are pariniod you think that everyone is after you and you blow things out of proportion .So was one of his thoughts since he kept going to his gun was no more ill kill to protect my property,Now united irelander keeps telling us that this crim deserved to be killed after all he did rob mr nallys house.his son deserved to watch mr nally walk up at shoot his dad while he was lying on his back so if im morally wrong for thinking this man did the wrong thing then im glad because if its right to act in this manner then this is a bad world we live in .

well it seems that the u.s has used chemical weapons white phosphorous on insurgent's in iraq.They used it as an incendiary device. i was watching cbc and there were two ex soldiers on talking about it they also said that civillians were routinely killed by accident and nothing is done about it one even said that he had killed civillians and nothing was said to him no court martial .so its good to see the war on terror is a just war again i say if aghanistan was the place it can be justified but iraq what did it have to do with terror nothing.yes there was a dictator and he was a tyrant but that was nt the reason given for the invision it was because he had chemicals and one was white phosphoras. now im glad to see the americian people are starting to relish and question bush .bush still use's the term its un americian to question me and you are hurting the troops , the question is who is hurting the troops the most the president has nearly killed more americians in his war the the terrorists did by there 9 11 attacks

THANKS SARAH
Sarah was my consuller when i went through my discovery about being abused. At the time i was taking drugs and felt like i was crazy ,we used to meet once a week and this woman made me feel that what i was feeling was normal and she actually made me feel like i was a good person because i used love and laughter to get myself through my life, even when the worse things happened to me i used humour and always had love in my mind i knew that it was out there and she got me to write a mourning journel.After a couple of months she asked to see it and she said it was great .well she went to england to do her course and when she came back she read some more of it then one week we were talking and she started crying saying that her boyfriend did nt give her the credit she deserved and she deserved more i told her she did and i left . the next week i came in for my appointment and the staff gave me a strange look . someone told me sarah had left on medical reasons and they had rang everyone in her appt book ,i was supposed to see her fri which was a first as she never seen anyone that day so she must have forgot to put it in her book . but one thing about sarah is she was a great person who gave me belive in me and ill always remember her for that and hope she has everything she needs from life.

IT'S A MATTER OF TRUST?
now when you walk to a pedistrian crossing and someones already there do you trust that they have pushed the button or do you go and check and push it anyway even if its lit up?

Did this woman use religion? Michelle leslie a model who was imprisioned in bali on possessing ecstacy was released but minus her muslim head to toe covering that she used in her court apperances seems that her conversion to being muslim only lasted as long as it needed she is flying back to australia to marry her millionaire boyfriend.She will probably write a book and i hope that no one with brians would publish such garbage .seems that these days if you do something that get you publicty you milk every doller out of it .if the case here she should do the rightr thing and give the money to drug programs .hope she enjoys her muslim wedding

Saw blood from my daughter this morning she was carrying a book and fell and split her gum there was heaps of blood but i did nt panic which suprised me i remained calm.she screamed and so did liam he panicks which shows how much he cares .liam is also sick he spewed this morning and says he has a sore stomach i hope hes ok but wonder if its a ploy to stay home as when he found out he was nt going to a birthday party he was upset .i think going to his dads on a bus is to much for him and it must be hard before it was a 5 min walk now its a bus ride his dads sister was supposed to pick them up every week but that only lasted about 2 weeks . when i get a car at least there will always be a way to get them there .Taylor is always happy to go you know how it is girls are usually daddys girls and im glad she has got such a great bond i worry about liams sometimes .I know how important it is to keep it but at his age he likes his comforts of home playstation anytime and freedom which i think is limited now his dad lives with his sister and thats not a reflection on her its the way thing seem to happen in situations like that.As for saoirse shes fine shes sleeping i was going to show her santa parade at mall but she got up at 6 30 so did i she was in bed with me and poking me and talking so could nt pretent to be asleep .w can take a walk later.

Liverpool 3-0 Portsmouth
Boudewijn Zenden, Djibril Cisse and Fernando Morientes are on target in Liverpool's win over Portsmouth. And liverpool move in to 8th with still a game in hand if we can beat man city next week our next game is sunderland and hopefully that is a win and the lifts us even higher and we are playing real betis on wed and even a draw there see us through the next stage of the champinship.

Newry City 1-3 Glentoran

Gary Browne scored Glentoran's winner away to NewryGavin Melaugh celebrated his 100th appearance for Glentroan by scoring twice as Roy Coyle's side came from behind to beat Newry City but linfield also had a great win so they are still 2 points ahead
and
it seems the aussies have the wood on ireland in rugby as well as the other series with a 30 -14 win to end a losing streak

Liverpool v Portsmouth
well its football again and we have a good chance to keep up our recent form there have been many goals scored in recent weeks like the drought has been broken so lets keep moving up the ladder ,it was sad that roy keane ended his career with utd the way it happened i hate utd and keene but b4elive that loyalty in football has gone out the window from clubs as well as some players .
NEWRY CITY TAKE ON THE GLENS AND IT GIVE THE GLENS A CHANCE FOR A GOOD WIN

here is another story that shows that northern ireland people are being pushed aside in an attempt to pretend its all flowers and rainbows and in a land of make beliel we would be so much better in a united ireland
A row has erupted after photographs of the Enniskillen Poppy Day bombing victims were removed from an Ulster ambulance depot.
The montage of pictures, which was erected in tribute to Kitchener Johnston, a former member of staff at the Enniskillen ambulance depot, was apparently taken down after a member of staff claimed it was offensive.
Mr Johnston (70) died alongside his wife Jessie, also aged 70, when an IRA bomb exploded as crowds gathered at the Cenotaph in Enniskillen on Remembrance Sunday in 1987. Eleven people were killed in the no-warning blast and 63 were injured.
Ulster Unionist peer Lord Maginnis has said he would be demanding an explanation as to why the photograph was taken down.
Speaking from the House of Lords, he said its removal was a "sad reflection on our society".
South Tyrone DUP MLA Arlene Foster claimed the photograph was removed after a member of staff claimed it was offensive.
"I am completely disgusted by this decision coming, as it does, on the 18th anniversary of the bomb," she said.
"This photograph was placed in the depot as a tribute to Mr Johnston and also as a permanent reminder of that fateful day when so many from the area lost their lives.
"This decision shows a complete lack of respect for those who lost their lives in the IRA bomb.
"I will now be seeking an urgent meeting with the Ambulance Service to discuss this decision and voice my opposition to it."
Fermanagh and South Tyrone's SDLP MLA Tommy Gallagher said the removal of the photograph was "cultural aggression".
He said: "Because of the community division here I believe the workplace should be free from flags, emblems and party politics.
"However, a photograph of people killed in the Enniskillen bomb in 1987 should not in any way be a cause of offence. This incident coming at the time of the anniversary will be hurtful to his family and friends and many others here in Fermanagh.
"It will also add to the despair of many victims - and we have many on both sides - about their needs being taken seriously."
A spokesman for the Northern Ireland Ambulance Service said: "The Northern Ireland Ambulance Service has been made aware of an issue at Enniskillen station.
"An internal investigation is now under way in an effort to resolve the matter."

Secretary of State Peter Hain came under fire today after claiming the island of Ireland would come to be seen as a single economic unit.
In an interview in the New-York based newspaper The Irish Echo, Mr Hain also argued the Northern Ireland economy is "not sustainable in the long term
Are these the word s that show the future for unionists .The good friday agreement says if a majority of the people want it but it looks like the mind of the british and irish goverments have already been made up so in all reliaty the unionists have been lead a merry dance.You will hear people say but its not the case or its not going to happen but i think that there are more cross border groups being set up or are in place ,and one day in the not to distant future it will just be signed over with out a choice for the unionists and you will see more and more statments from the goverment's of britian and the rep about money,

See this shows how much the parades commision is out of touch with the people of northern ireland,even the nationlists would nt object or would they he is british and it could be a ploy from the oo to see how far they can go,
Pudsey is walking into trouble as Children in Need dawns tomorrow.
The long arm of the law is poised to police any Pudsey street demonstrations of charity - with the Parades Commission declaring a number to be illegal.
The Young Unionists have already been stalled in their attempt to fundraise by means of a proposed sponsored charity walk from Belfast's Albertbridge Road to Stormont in aid of CIN.
Now it seems that Pudsey himself could be rerouted. BBC's own fundraising circuit of Broadcasting House the Bog-Eyed Jog, fronted by popular presenter Wendy Austin, could be stuck on the starting blocks.
The early morning event is set to kick off BBC Northern Ireland's Children in Need fundraising marathon at 7am tomorrow and feature live on current affairs flagship programme Good Morning Ulster.
But a spokesman for the Parades Commission said that the "law requires anyone" holding everything from an Easter parade to a bed-push on public ground to notify their intention to both the commission and PSNI.
He confirmed that neither the Young Unionists nor the BBC had done this.
"These are not legally notified events."
A BBC Northern Ireland spokesperson said: "We have liaised with, and sought advice from, all relevant agencies in relation to BBC Children in Need activities being undertaken by BBC Northern Ireland."
But with armchair athletes across the Province, including a News Letter team, currently in training, Parades Commission gave the Pudsey Bear facts.
They say that the Bog-Eyed Jog comes under the legislation.
"No parades have been notified by BBC to the police."
UUP MLAs David McClarty and Michael Copeland have reacted with fury to the news of the grounding of the Young Unionists.
In a joint statement Mr McClarty, the Assembly Chief Whip, and East Belfast MLA Michael Copeland said: "This is political correctness gone mad.
"The tentacles of the Parades Commission now seemingly extend to charity walks.
"What next? Church parades? Will primary school teachers wishing to walk their children to their local leisure centre be required to fill in an 11/1 form?
"This is bad news for everyone in Northern Ireland."
The MLAs also deplored the loss of funds to the annual fundraiser for disadvantaged young people.
"It is a great shame that a worthwhile cause such as Children in Need will now find itself short of money because of this."
well hopefully this goverment body is disbanded soon as they have served there purpose well almost i suppose there still is a orange order and many marchs they can ruin it seems that tratidion counts for nothing with this body

SAM ,ME AND WAGS we went on a trip to ulura well we started of from melb it was about 30 and i had my hz panalvan packed and wags in the back i gunned it most of the way to adelide and she overheated once and that was it. when we got to adel we went to the beach for a swim and we were in there swimming and then sam(my daughter) ran out screaming sharks we saw a dorcil fin but it was nt a shark it was a dolphin .Sam was mortified and then we decided we would head of what a cunt of a place adeliade is there is no signs to get you out of the place and asking the people was usless we spent a couple hours trying to get the right road out in the end we say a couple junkies and guess what they showed us how to get out so back on the open road.well i kew the road to port augusta as i had hiked it should have known way out of adel to but forgot .we stopped and filled up at port the headed north we stopped somewhere in the middle of nowhere and sam slept in the car i slept outside with wags it was great to be sleeping like that again.about 5 in the morning i woke up and took wags a walk just let her run it was still dark and the stars were great i felt alive. we got to cobber pedy and looked around being a sunday there was nt much open we also had hardly any money .we went to the local pool it was free so we swam and cooled of i think it was about 35 by this time after that we got dressed and headed up the road again there was nothing to look at but it was still a great site to see .we got to the turn off for ulura and filled up the man said its safer not to drive at night beacuse of cattle and the aborigines but i drove anyway we got near the rock and saw a gate it was open and you had to pay to see the rock so i drove on in it was about midnite and thought we would see the rock at night well where is it said sam i dont know then blackness it was spooky we were going to park at the base but i swear it was like there was somthing magical about it we drove to a car park and parked i slept on the front seat it was spooky as hell about 4 i saw a dingo and wags was barking at it. next morning we went to the rock we did nt pay as we were already in . as we parked there a ranger came up and we started talking i was wondering if he knew that we had nt paid.he was a black fella and i enjoyed the chat we climbed the rock but i came back early i have vertigo .i watched sam climb then sam got back and we walked around the rock we saw a new akurba hat instead of taking it to the office we kept it .i later thought it was a honesty test and i failed it was the last time i did something like that and after that my past came and bit me? anyway i drove to the servo and was going to get a good feed because my money should have been put infrom work guees what it was nt so we started driving home and it was a struggle no money except for fuel i used my master card but i had hit the limit just outside adel on way back to melb . we arrived in melb the tank was empty but it wsas still a good trip except the hat i never used it i gave it away always said i was going to send the money to the rangers office and still might one day soon .

It seems that the shooting of a sparrow has nt gone unoticed the dutch animal protection agency "i think they are awfully fast to pull out a rifle"spokes man neils dorland adding that the agency plans to alert national prosecutors.If a person started knocking over a few dominoes they would nt shoot him would they.The people who orginised the event are defending the killing saying more than a 100 people from different countrys had worked for more than a month . he also said they might mention the bird during fridays broadcast mighty fine of them

Got this picture sent to me it was mine in aus when i was going through my worse time i looked at it and saw what i thought was god looking at the effiel tower getting struck by lightning in 1933 i assumed it was his warning to the french and it was ignored and we know what happened.I could gbe wrong but then again its a strange world you see a face

got a pic of my grandaughter today her name is natasza she is my second one nicole was first . natasza was born aug 13 so shes nearly a year younger than her aunty and nicole is 2 so shes older than her aunty what a weird world lol

THE AUSSIE'S GO TO THE WORLD CUP
well its been awhile but they will be there in 2006 .northern ireland wont be there so ill be able to support the aussie's and i hope the do well they are a great sporting nation come on aussie come on .even though thats a cricket catchphrase for the record it was 1-0 and that made it 1-1on agg so it was a penalty shootout

N Ireland 1-1 Portugal

Portugal's Costinha is challenged by Warren FeeneyLuton Town striker Warren Feeney made the most of a rare international start by scoring Northern Ireland's goal in their 1-1 draw against Portugal. its good to see another great result we might be minnows but the flag of ulster would have been flying high tonight

now when i retire i might just move to the rep of ireland and start drinking again.
a irish nursing home has opened a pub for it's elderly residents st mary's hospital in county monaghan reakons a pint may help its elderly patients live longer rose mooney said "we would say the whole social aspect of life does extend to these years it mean the patients are nt bored to death" it opens at 11 am and close's at 9 pm and apperantly it has lead to a increase in visitors.

While im talking about aminals
here's a story out of the netherlands a sparrow knocked 23,000 dominoe's over nearly ruining a world record attempt. the bird flew through a window in leewarden as employee's of a t.v company endemol nv were setting up more than four million dominoe's to break the currrent world record only a fail safe of 750 gaps saved them all getting knocked over.so what do they do the get someone in with a airrifle and shot the sparrow as it cowered in the corner, now again it shows the world we have become you might see the world record attempt on your news they usually show them good news stories but at the cost of a sparrow's life surly nothing is more important than life but it was only a bird.i hope these people dont belive in recarnation they might come back as sparrows.

THERE 'S one thing i miss about aus my dog she's called wags after the dog in the wiggles my neice used to own her but after about a month she did nt want her so i took her.she wont travel in cars anymore after i took her to ayers rock it called somthing different these days but i cant spell it. she is a blue heeler cross bullterrier she only has the bully eye's the unique thing about her is she is white with blue spots instead of blue with white spots she is a smart dog and gets on with all the kids they slip her chocolate even though i say no and i'd love to bring her here but i think it would be to cold for her .i think the kids here would love her at traffic lights she waits for the noise when the man comes up before she will walk

Its the 14th and that means only a month to go till i get a decesion from the medical board and every day it seem s to get longer and longer .waiting is the hardest i check e mails every day why i dont know just hoping .I dont know what choice they have made but i ve already decided that they will favor in the dr's way.why because in my eye's they dont want something like this to get out it's bad enough that dr's abuse women patients but to admit that they also abuse young male patients well who knows what is going to happen then .Probably nothing me i already have no trust i go to dr's and just tell them what i need its amazing how easy it is to get anything from dr's as they really dont care any more. when was the last time a dr would come and visit you.Well i know of one who cares for his patients he is in werribee and there probably are some more but hard to to find them these days .

My first trip back home in 12 years.I had broken up from a seven year relationship and it was feb 92 i used to get drunk and always say im going home for a visit but this time i actually saved .i was nervous as i wondered if people would still want to give me a capping for the burgs i did after all they were uda mens house's i had broke into only stole the money out of the electric meters.but when i left everyone thought i was bad news and i was the one your parents said dont hang with him he's trouble ,well i got pissed free drink but was still ok when i got to heathrow i gave my passport aus one and they said how long are you here for i said i dont know she said well ill give you 6 months and you cant work here that suprised me i told her i was born in northern ireland did nt matter to her. when i got to belfast i shared a taxi with two blokes i met on the plane they were going home after working in england i then got the taxi the rest of the way i arrived at my sisters never told her i was comming knocked the door she answered and said "yes" i said it me she looked confused i said william still looked bewildered then i said "your brother" she finally clicked on and invited me in and said so this is the suprise mum was sending we chatted and then we went to my dad's house in sydnham as we pulled up he was going out to walk his dog he never noticed us and we went on in and his bitch was there (new wife) well she was friendly then he came home shook my hand and sat down he was quite then his wife said do you know who this is he said "is it diannes boyfriend "she said no its your son then he gave me a hug. he seemed happy to see me as was i .well as we left he gave me another hug i went back quite often as he got sicker i did his job a sercuity gaurd in boucher cresant near windsor park and behind where i was you could see milltown cemetary .it was a shit job and a lot of nights the windows would shake from bombs going of around belfast.mind you my first night back i heard what sounded like thunder it was actually a bomb from 20 miles away it destroyed lurgan town centre.well it turned out dad had throut cancer and got the hole in it .i used to walk nearly every week sometimes twice .i also got my passport stamped with indefinte stay from the belfast passport agency i told them what happened and they said thats the englis for you.i moved to scotland(another story)and got a visit from the police my dad had died i rang his wife and she said i was nt welcome at the funeral as i never saw him i know it was fucked people who never visited went yet i went all the time and was nt welcome ,i think its cause she knew i disliked her i used to wind her up every chance i could and brought dad a bottle of whiskey as he said to me one time when we were walking the damage is already done .to this day i have nt visited her or my fathers grave she put a head stone on it and only put from his loving wife no mention of his children so people will look and think it was just him and her .one reason i would nt visit because id smash it . he's buried at redburn where i used to play when i was a kid near my old school.

INNOCENCE the one thing i regret i never had .
I remember going out with a girl when i was 13 or 14 and it should have been good you know kissing and just holding hands but for me and probably others like me it was a living nightmare. For me anyway i had been abused from the age of 8 before that i cant rem it could have been loneness that made me forget (i metioned why earlier) anyway i meet this girl and we ended going out i called her and she came to holywood from bangor where she lived we walked for a while and started kissing and i rem thinking that i should be playing with her breasts but also thinking no thats wrong it was nt the first time there was jacquiline .She was a year younger and we were in a tent kissing and because what happened to me i could nt enjoy it because i was thinking does she want me to do more and knowing that i should nt so even though i was sexually active from being abused i still had enough control with these girls to know that i should nt touch them so you see what i mean about innocence i should have just been kissing them and thinking that was the greatest thing.no wonder i was a wild kid its funny how thats the thing that i wanted the most when today you hear about kids wanting to grow up well they should nt being a kid is short .there was one who kinda made me feel like a kid but she went to england and we never actually got to spend anytime alone so thats about as close as i got which is kinda good as i never ruined it by thinking to much.

Sunday and emma worked and liam and taylor were at there dads saoirse played games and gave me a hard time but a good time though it take's a lot out of you .She went to sleep about 1 and slept till 3 then taylor and liam were home i still think taylor woke her as she went up to her "room" and all of a sudden saoirse's awake i go up and taylors on the bed with her .She probably missed her .Its funny when we are in the sitting room saoirse will just do her own thing but as soon as i start dinner shes in the kitchen wanting picked up ,she usually stands there hands in the air and crying following me around and i take her to sitting room and again she gets off the couch and does her own thing so i go and do a little more at dinner and again as soon as im there here she comes walking in arms raised and crying. Soon as i pick her up its who's that her favourite saying but as i say it all good as i wont get this time again .

The thing about living in canada is you see a insight into the us of a .i was watching a info commerical about amesty international say how torture and deaths are happening around the world by bad goverments who abuse human rights ,turn channel and theres a debate about the black prisions that the c.i.a run and how 100 prisioners have died over the last couple of years due to torture by us forces or "civillian contractors." I was annoying to see these actors i wonder would they have said the same about their own countrys human rights abuses as there is nt many crying out .I also noticed its a very warlike nation much like russia the service men wear uniforms on game shows and television shows grant them wish's bush has many speechs with the army in the background i read from that .ive got a army so we can make the rules lets see if he veto's MC cains bill about torture as there has been talk he will and chenney say's that the executive officer should be above the law in war. Now to me and many us citizans its wrong and 53% say bush is nt trust worthy so lets hope he get s the message and maybe one day he will pay the price for going against demoracy for lying to his own people .

What a night at the mall i decided to walk and meet emma from work .So i went to her mums and she came then we went to the mall she wanted a couple things .as we were comming home we came down to the lower level i saw a couple native teenagers laying into another and you know how it is you like to watch it reminds you of your youth well i told emmas that someones getting a flogging she saw and went over and asked someone from the food court to get secuirty and was getting worried . she said everyones just watching so i asked her did she want me to stop it . she said no (women) anyway next thing shes heading over saying thats enough so that confused me because if they had started on her i would have to get involved.but they ignored her there must have been about 6 mostly young and one about 40 (why would a old man want to hang with teenagers) the one getting a kicking was even younger and he got away they walked in front of us and we could hear them bragging about what they done to the kid,thats when i felt guilty maybe i should have stepped in but then again when i was into to that sort of stuff you got a beating or you gave a beating it was part of life.i saw the one who did most damage head back he was hyped ive saw that look before but he was nt a scary dude just the one he hit was smaller so he had upper hand and he wanted to inflict more .but it made me think do i want to stop a fight not really ive did the same sort of stuff and its part of life and i did keep walking i saw a fight in werribee and it was funny so i laughed at them as i do every fight i see as long as its fists i dont see any harm it teachs the person who gets the hiding a couple things either stay away or get harder but that only my veiw i probably old fashioned.

Glentoran 5-1 Larne no liverpool this week but the glens are still winning with gary browne getting a hat trick yet still 2 points behind linfield we will get there

since its remberance day i was looking into belfast as i had heard it was bombed harder than coventry but is nt mentioned wonder why but here isw something that i read and thought it was worthwhile.

spring of 1940 the Second World War was being waged largely on the western front. The German Army overran Denmark and Norway at the beginning of April; a month later they swept over the Netherlands and Belguim, then the Wehrmacht forged through the Ardennes reaching Paris in June.
This spectacular western advance by the Third Reich brought Northern Ireland well within the range of German bombers. From the summer of 1940 the Luftwaffe began inflicting devasting attacks on British cities.
Yet, the Northern Ireland government did almost nothing to protect the people. In May 1940, the parliamentary secretary at the Ministry of Home Affairs, Edmond Warnock, resigned commenting that:
"the government has been slack, dilatory and apathetic."
Despite such criticism, the Northern Ireland government continued to do little but wait for Westminister to pick up the bill for measures to protect Belfast. Even when the Ministry of Home Affairs was informed by defence experts that Belfast was a certain Luftwaffe target nothing was done.
The city had no fighter squadrons, no balloon barrage and only twenty anti-aircraft guns when the war began. There were only four public air-raid shelters, made of sandbags, located at the City Hall, together with underground toilets at Shaftesbury Square and Donegal Square North. Not a single shelter was provided anywhere else in Northern Ireland.
We now know that a Luftwaffe reconnaissance mission on 30 November 1940 brought back photographs of suitable targets in Belfast. These included:
"Die Werft Harland and Wolff Ltd
die Tankskelle Conns Water
das Flugzeugwerk Short and Harland
das Kraftwerk Belfast
die Grossmuhle Rank & Co
das Wasserwerk Belfast
die Kasernlagen Victoria Barracks"
The entire city of Belfast, the Germans discovered, was defended by only seven anti-aircraft batteries. In short, Belfast was the most undefended city in the United Kingdom.
On March 24 1941, John McDermott, Minister for Security, wrote to the Prime Minister, John Andrews expressing his concerns that Belfast was so poorly protected."Up to now we have escaped attack. So had Clydeside until recently. Clydeside got its blitz during the period of the last moon. There (is) ground for thinking that the ... enemy could not easily reach Belfast in force except during a period of moonlight. The period of the next moon from say the 7th to the 16th of April may well bring our turn."
Unfortunately, McDermott was proved right. On 7th April 1941 Belfast suffered the first of three air raids.

The mall was crowed today and i had to go through it boy was it crowded how can so many people want to go shopping at the same time i like it during the week when its quite i suffer anixety and just walking throug there drains me . i heard someone say tonight that they got a head ache just spending time there today ,i can understand that feeling it's weird but overwhelming give me a quite town with a shopping street not these modern day malls .man am i starting to sound old i rem when lol

well our babys 1 now she's growing up she seemed to enjoy her day so did i .Im like most from my generation in northern ireland and probably the south that grew up not having great birthdays or christmas so what do we do we make sure our kids enjoy it and i will be doing that .Not spoiling them but just enough to get enjoyment out of it. well she was tuckered out by the end of it she got a chair from her nanny in aus and she loves it .look out here comes xmas

This time last year we had been in the hospital for15 hours waiting for the birth of our daughter emma was full of drugs trying to induce but would she come no she would nt .45 mins later the dr was there telling emma to push and she did and did but still no baby after about a hour and half the dr decided c section so of we went to the o.r and i rem sitting out side just wondering it had been the longest i had stayed in one place with my anexity im usually on the move but here i was sitting waiting then i was asked to come in and held emma's hand as they did there work i looked over to watch them slice open emma and the way they stretched her stomach it was amazing then out she came and they took her over to get cleaned i was asked if i wanted to go i did and just looked at her still shocked that she was actually here. I got to take a couple pics emmas insisted .then i carried her over to show her mum but she was out of it the anthiesist took a pic of us.Then i carried her back i rem feeling nervous in case i dropped her but once i put her down the took saoirse to i c u for babies shelly was outside waiting but we went the other way i watched her get put in then went and told shelly and boy was she crying .emma was still in the o.r getting a cyst taken out .saoirse was screaming and she never stopped they give her a dummy which they never do as i was later told she cried for a hour stright thats why she got it they said she had a headache.i stayed with her for a while then called home after that i went and saw emma she was in recovery she still had nt held saoirse and was taken to her room . i went back to see saoirse then emma again.I went to emma's mums it was about 5 mins from the hospital then it was about 4 am i went to sleep well sort of i was up at 8 and went back to hospital saoirse was with her mum she had only got there not long ago.i could nt stop looking at her this was my daughter and she was so alert . i got to spend the next 7 weeks with her then had to leave it was the second worse day in my life having to leave her i flew to l.a we missed our connecting flight because of storms so they put us up in a hotel overnite . it was new years eve when i got home i never got to see saoirse till july 18th that was one of the worse times in my life i got pics and updates but to know she was growing up without me.would she be strange when we met well no she smiled and within a day she let me hold her and now she always wants me to hold her every day with her and my family is a gift and i make it count .so one final thought her name is saoirse it means freedom in irish she was born 11th 11th at 11 mins to 2 good omen i think she will never be at school on her birthday as its a hoilday in canada.

TOMMOROW is armistice day or rembermance day 11th of the 11th the day the guns fell silent. but on that day there was still 10,000 casualities because of aggressive commanders including general pershing who insisted in launching assults right up to the last moment,Can you think how that would be knowing that your life was in the hands of commanders who did nt care about you .but today we hopefully think about these men who no matter what ran over the trenchs knowing that there was a good chance that they would nt be comming back and many were young boys when the war started.
LEAST WE FORGET
mind you i feel for the irish soliders who fought so bravely yet had to hide there secret back home knowing theRe neighbours would treat them badly no that a great debt these men are owed
LEAST WE FORGET

what a strange day yesterday turned out to be .for week s ive been down waiting and yesterday i was talking to god no he did nt talk back but i have chat to him in my mind .Anyway i said to him i need help im going crazy and its killing me i know i need to change inside im getting there but some things are hard but my heart is still true i have love in it and as long as thats alive so am i .So last night before bed i thought id try my email to see if ive heard from my laywer who repesents me at the medical board and low and behold there was a email it said "the board will have the panels decision by the end of the day on the 14th dec." So now its a waiting game.I was walking to the mall today and saw a leaflet on the ground and it said HOW TO BE BORN AGAIN is that a coindence heres some things from it i left it there but picked it up after saoirse and my trip to the flimingo(there's the n) no one can be saved unless he is born again by the power of gods spirit.christ says in john 3.7 nothing will take place of the new birth.
baptism will not take the place,confirmation will not take the place,
No performance of religious rites will take the place of the new birth.A great many people are depending upon the fact that they say their prayers,read their bibles, go to church, partake of the sacrament,and perform other duties
a great many people say "I BELIVE IN THE APOSTALES' Ccreed, i belive in the athanasian creed, i belive in the nicene creed; I say the catechism, i am orthodox, i hold the right veiws about Christ,right veiws about the bible, right veiws about the atonement." You can be orthodox upon every doctrine and be lost for ever.
Culture and refinement and outward correctness of life will not take the place of the new birth.The trouble is in the heart, in the very deepest depths of our inward life, and merely to reform your outward life will not save you.
suppose i had a rotten apple. I could take that apple to an artist, have him put a coat of wax on it, and then paint it till it was the most beautiful looking apple you ever saw; but it would be just as rotten at heart as ever, and one bite into it would be a bite into decay.The trouble is That out of christ you are wrong in heart and mere culture,mere refinement,mere respectability,mere morality is a coating of wax on the outside painted up.You must be changed down to the deepest depths of your being.
"Verily ,verily,I say unto thee, except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of GOD."(john 3:3) are you born again.
Now, i think a good many will say "NO I AM NOT. CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT I MUST DO RIGHT NOW TO BE BORN AGAIN?"
I can .Our lord jesus christ preached: "repent ye, and belive in the gospel."(mark 1:15) Repentance is turning from sin to god.The gospel message has the power in it to transform your life.
now that was weird finding that after asking god for help call me crazy if you like but ive had other experiances and there are things i still have to do to have total inner peace but i think i am getting there my outside has nt changed im still me. but in my heart i know i still have things to do and i think it will take time but i will get there .
its like jesus i always said to myself that what his greatest thing was 'BEING A GOOD MAN AND LIVING A GOOD LIFE ' just something to ponder

IS THIS THE FLAG OF A UNITED IRELAND?
i say it should not be a lot of nationalists will say but the orange repesents the protestants but does it really ?
lets look at it the orange is because of king william he was dutch .the green repesents the native irish people .hold on im a native and a protestant so that rules it out.and is nt blue the offical colour of Ireland after all?so this flag here is not inclusive of protestants in northern ireland the orange order yes but are nt they concidered bigots so we are all labeled bigots then ?I think there should be a new flag how about the st patricks cross with the 4 provinces in each section .The tricolour to me repesents the ira and in all my hearts i could not look on it as my national flag i think many unionists would feel the same i could be wrong but doubt it.so if there is going to be a united ireland will they change the flag for the protestant people as the current one is outdated.There is a lot of talk about the union flag must go but why are the protestant people supposed to fade away and take everything yet not get anything that shows they are part of a united ireland

Glentoran seal place in CIS final
good to see i suppose it will be linfield again the glens beat portadown 2-1 after comming from a goal behind

SAOIRSE's first snow , i showed it to her throught the window she did nt seem to notice but when i took her to get a paper she looked confused like she was saying how come its so different she looked around and around i put a bit in her hand she still was nt amused. we went to the mall to see the flamigo's and on the way she was still looking around everywhere i cant wait till we put boots on her and she goes out in it that will be fun.

Got a call from mum tonight and it seems my neice jane's kids were involved in a ugly incident on sunday.They were all a a barbie the kids were playing outside and some from the street had got a new 4 wheel drive so was racing up and down the street johnny and the bloke who was hosting the barbie shouted at him that there's kids playing his reaction to slow down no he mounted the path and tried to run them over the bloke jumped and pushed his kids out of the way my great neices were safe by this time and johnny jumped out of the way in time . the boke who saved his kids is in hospital very seroius and there are fears for his life the driver is charged with attempted murder and using his car as a weapon at least i heard this time usually thing are kept from me as they think i might do somthing fucken oath i would family is family and they try and hurt your family you hurt them back eye for a eye.im not a violent man but i will defend my family with my life if need .years ago something happened to my other neice and they never told me for 6 months i dont know what hurts the most not being able to do anything or being denied any involvement in family matters maybe i might not do what they expect like in this instance id leave for the police to bring justice .the other instance i would have walked to the mans door and beat the crap out of him so where they protecting me i still dont know i should be givin the choice after all .no wonder ive always felt like a loner .

SEEMS LIKE GERRY WONT BE GETTING PAID?
gerry adams has cancelled his trip to new york after the bush administion actually did something right.Which is strange when you think they turned a blind eye to the fund raising for many years.so s/f says the "the us goverment has been engaging in amaturish attempt to change sinn feins stance on policing' the party's leader gerry said .so there policy on policing they want there own force how can that happen it cant not in Northern Ireland. There already is one but the nationalists are encourged to stay away and not help in any way with anything then they complian when the police dont get anywhere strange instead he will be in Canada hope he come's to edmonton ill be there heckling him

THE CORRS GETTING MBE
Seens like the sexy irish girls and there brother are going to be rewarded for there music and charity work by getting MEMBER OF BRITISH EMIPE even though they are irish but they have sold 30 milion records some in the republic will be upset at this but it should nt matter its a reward for there work good on them

Let it snow let it snow theres a inch of snow im hoping it stays till tomorrow which by the look of it good chance as its still comming down so saiorse shall see her first snow but not her last.Saoirse fell out of bed about 20 mins ago and was screaming but she went back to sleep i like watching her sleep she looks so cute and i cant belive shes mine but then again everyone says she looks like me so does that mean im cute lol only babies and puppys are cute right .ill take her over to see the flamigo's again and search the mall for something to do it fills in time and gets us back for seasme street or should i say elmo's street he's all it seems to be about where are the people and other creature's they dont have as much i only see the count once in a while yet bert and ernie'sstill on every day thats her fav part journey to ernie she dance's to it make s me laugh mind you every thing she does makes me laugh so she will be used to people laughing at her . IT's funny cause she has a bad temper especially if liam sits near me she has a fit but its all good in the end.

The rodeo is in town for the canidian championships .it's funny how people over here and the rest of the world say bullfighting is cruel yet they love rodeo's which are even more cruel the calf roping and bull riding i wonder what the aminals think but hey they are only creatures who cares man rules.

WHAT IF ALIENS VISITED EARTH?
What if they had been watching us for years .holywood has mostly protrayed alien
s as bad and evil who want to take from us why are they protreyed that way maybe because it make s us think that we are nt so bad after all like how we crave power and money and land and dont care who gets in the way of achiving our goals.I think that they would avoid earth and say wow they cant even love one another what would they be like if they made it into space all we would want is more and thats the problem with todays and yesterdays goverments only today we as people accept it and actually go along with it we spend our money on crap that breaks easy and then just junk it after all theres always something new and have you wondered why. people laugh at movies like 1984 big brother but how far from that are we mobile telephones mp3 players t.v in every waiting areas so we dont have to talk to other people .We get in our cars and go to work getting angery if someone slows us down or hinder our progress get out of my way im in a hurry but are you in a hurry we all seem to be rushing to nothing we hurry to work once there we hope the day goes quick so we can get home we hurry home to do what watch t.v read a book get some sleep for the next day and before we know it a year has passed and still we have nt done anything good in our life maybe you got your new car or fashinable clothes little handbags that all the stars wear but what have you achived well one thing you are more alone from the world you watch horrible things on tele and do you write a protest letter some do but who do you send it to ?who else care americiam goverment no they care about americians british goverment no they only want whats best for the new world order long live the rich . sci fi might not be real but everything you ve seen in it seems to come to life .

A FORMER loyalist, named during an Irish judicial investigation into the murder of an innocent County Louth man, has dramatically admitted he was present when the victim was killed.
But Paul Hosking, from County Down, has vigorously protested his innocence of any involvement in the murder of Seamus Ludlow in May 1976.
"These boys came down to the bar I was drinking in; I was in the UDA at the time," Hoskin said yesterday.
"We all went out for a drink and then we took a drive. I was in the car and we picked up this guy."
He added: "The guy got out of the car to go to the toilet and he was shot."
The Irish Justice Committee is to investigate further issues arising from an explosive report from Mr Justice Henry Barron, which was published on Thursday.
His report, which is privileged in law, named four men alleged to have been in the car which picked up Mr Ludlow on the night of his death.again this goes to show do these men get to go to court of are the let off .They should be made to face trial but if the otr's are free to come back without fear of facing trial then these men should have the same fate or agian it show s that a catholixc man 's life is more important than a protestant or a police mans life in the north i belive they should all go to jail but the british and irish goverments made a deal with the devil in my eyes .

Aston Villa 0-2 Liverpool
well emma's team got beat again . It was 'nt a great display from liverpool but we won and we still have 2 games in hand so if we won them we could go as high as 3rd mind one of them games is against arsenal so that will be a good win .utd play chelsea while i dont want chelsea to get to far ahead i love watching utd get beat as the blues have a long way to go to get our record of championships wins.
Institute 1-3 Glentoran the glens kept there title chase aginst linfield alive after comming from a goal behind. colin nixon,chris morgan(6th goal)and gary browne scored for the glens

Australia delivered a fiercesome bowling display to beat West Indies by 379 runs in the first Test in Brisbane. It's good to see the aussies winning again seems like the ashes was a distant memory

Great Britain 6-20 Australia
Great Britain fell to a heartbreaking defeat to Australia that leaves their Tri-Nations hopes hanging by a thread well leauge and soon the go aginst a south americiam team in soccer to see if they go to the world cup . the aussies hold the world record for a win i think it was 38-0 the aussies are a great sporting nation and the victiorian bushrangers are the best state side in my eyes anyway

OFF WITH HIS THUMB
Las Vegas mayor oscar goodman suggests graffiti artists(vandals) who deface freeways should have their thumbs cut off on t.v. He said in the old days in france they beheaded people who commited heinous crimes even though it was more quicker that slow hanging that was usually reserved for the nobels. oscar says "i'm saying maybe you should put them punks on t.v and cut off a thumb" he also wants whipping and caning brought back for children who get into trouble "im dead serious some of these brats dont learn. you,ve got to teach them a lesson." his idea about cutting the thumb of is sick especially when the freeways crave up beutiful country. But the canning well i think we need discipline back as kids have that many rights these days they know they can do what they want and instead of punishing them people say they need love or some crap like that yes they need love but the way soicety's going they know that its every man for himself oopps and woman do nt want those women libbers having a fit .

NOVEMBER A IMPORTANT MONTH
samantha's birthday 23 the 10th also on the same day stargate new season .saoirse's first birthday 11th then the 14th it my neices stephnies 11 th ,today we got snow not much just a little and it was freezing i think minus 5 this morning we still went to the mall it was fun saoirse had a great time so did i .

MORE TROUBLE IN KILLCOO its seens that nationlists are nt happy when someone gets arrested unless its a loyalist then they are screaming why is nt something done. It the second night of violence. the return of no go areas shows the the nationlist community only want what they want not what the people of northern ireland want and s/f responce to this the police were heavy handed and unpopular in the community. no condemnation no urges to stop so if s/f were serious would nt they ask the people to respect the police force but no s/f think that it is a tempory police force and have no respect for them so these are the men who want to share power yet wont support the police .

LIVERPOOL V ASTONVILLA
barros will play against his old team tomorrow, but liverpool are on a roll after a good win aginst anderlect there confidence must be high and sorry emma but your teams getting beat .
Institute v Glentoran the glens will be with out 6 players but should still win

well i wrote a email to my lawyer who s at the medical board and he replied and said he's gonna see if he can get the deputy c.e.o of medical board to prod the panel for a decision after all 7 months has passed so now im waiting still but at least this way i feel that there's a bit of light .I dont know if it will go in my favor but it has to be better than not knowing anything all i want is my day in court and i could actually forgive the dr if he admitted his guilt . Everyone tell s me i would nt be his only victim . in ways i hope i am as i would nt want anyone else to have there life thrown around as mine has been. But then if im the only one does that mean i was the stupid one who he spotted so much goes through my brain if only this or that but it happened for a reason and i know in my heart it was nt my fault if only i could tell my brain that fact.I would love to walk away and enjoy my life but i just cant and i cant tell if ill ever be the same person i was before i relised i would nt want to be as i was a cunt of a bloke at times .but i was nt cold i can just shut out and nothing hurts me. I wonder if ill be a good dad to saoirse im great now but she relies on me what happens when she's older . i look at her every day and wonder how much i would have changed michaela's life had i been involved . i know now that ill never see her my names not on birth cert i dont know if her husband (i cant rem if she got married after the birth or what) put his name down if he did that means she will go through life never knowing the truth surly her mum would nt do that every day for last 22 years i have thought about her even if it was a second like now what would she think of me would she understand my reasons or just think i was a bastard and she would have every right i dont even know the right spelling of her mums married name to try and find her and would i have that right. who knows but one thing i do love her the last time i saw her she was 9 and i had to pretend to be a friend her mum said she would tell her but that never came .

WELL it seems i missed the news of the breakout it was on t.v in july but i had just moved here .Its just that they never said who got out and apperantly the escapee's were on arab t.v bragging.
Its also good to see the state goverments in the u.s are taking matters in there own hands they have gone against bush's orders and are taking the kyoto idea about reducing gree house gasses nine states have or are passing laws to reduce the emmisions and making it profitable for companys who do now bush why cant you put the world before money?
at least the british show there contempt another soldier has been found not guilty of murder the army prosecuting authority said that they were right to take the matter to court they are not inline with the chain of command . the british goverment are also offering to pay compo to basra after the recent incedent involving two undercover men

SAOIRSE'S FIRST ROCK CONCERT
we went to the mall today and saw the flamigo's and then there was the doodlebops a childrens rock group you should have saw it ,i thought of the simpsons the one where maggie went to see the concert and they rioted .there were buggies all over the place and restless children some had been there for a hour,2 o;clock and they hit the stage deedee moe and rooney (wonder if he's releted)but the kids were shouting and saoirse just closed into my shoulder but she still watched .after the concert 20 mins of it many mums were shocked but you could get ten percent of tickets if you had a postcard that they gave out. we sat there and she got more lively climbing and just smiling and talking her talk she love it when other kids are around.

PRES BUSH HAS SAID THAT HE WANTS TO STOCKPILE SO 20 MILLION AMERICIANS WILL BE VACINATED IF NEED BE? But who would be the 20 million and he also wants to protect drug companys against lawsuits another right going to be eroded in the free states of americia if your rich enough to afford them.
ESCAPEE LEAVES ABUSE CASE WITH NO WITNESS.
a afghan prisioner belived to be a top al-qaida operative has escaped from a us-run detention facility and therefor cannot testify against the soldier who mistreated him. he "escaped" in july with two others .the laywer who repesents the soldier was going to see who had acess especially if the c.i.a had ordered miltary officers to do certain things to al-farouq who is considered to be bin laddens top lieutenant in south east asia. in earlier case's of abuse the victims were dead of unidentified .others in this case cannot testify because one was released and cannot be found and the other has died.makes you wonder how his escape did nt make news and will he ever be found? sounds a bit like saddams regime people dying or dissapearing yet no one is a voice for these people .all this serves to do is make more terrorists as they will want to avenge so the cycle goes on as the saying goes you reap what you sow

JOHN HOWARD TAKES A LEAF OUT OF BUSH'S BOOK?
Terrorists planning attack, says PM
ASIO agents and police are poised to move against an unnamed terrorist group planning attacks in several states.
The shock announcement of the terror threat overshadowed introduction of controversial industrial relations legislation.
"We have seen material. It is a cause of concern," Mr Howard said.
But he refused to be drawn on the nature of the threat.
"If you go into a lot of detail and you wreck the operation, the Australian public will not forgive you," Mr Howard said.
ITS funny that when you want the public to forget about a important matter you say there's a threat and of course you can always say it was diverted,Its about time the pm and bush shut up about possible threats all it serves is to add to there propganda and takes another civil liberty just start noting how ofton these threats take place they always concide with home annocments that the public wont like.

Aussie may unmask Jack the Ripper ONE of the greatest murder mysteries of all time – the identity of Jack the Ripper – may soon be revealed by DNA technology developed in Australia.
Scientist Ian Findlay was to use the new test on saliva the notorious serial killer could have left behind if he licked the stamps on the envelopes of letters he sent to London police.
Prof Findlay's method, called Cell Track-ID,after all these years we might find out they say hundreds of letters were sent but one containing a part of a kidney and one with part of a earlobe this imfomation was nt released to the public at the time can you think if it turns out it was h.r.h