My first trip back home in 12 years.I had broken up from a seven year relationship and it was feb 92 i used to get drunk and always say im going home for a visit but this time i actually saved .i was nervous as i wondered if people would still want to give me a capping for the burgs i did after all they were uda mens house's i had broke into only stole the money out of the electric meters.but when i left everyone thought i was bad news and i was the one your parents said dont hang with him he's trouble ,well i got pissed free drink but was still ok when i got to heathrow i gave my passport aus one and they said how long are you here for i said i dont know she said well ill give you 6 months and you cant work here that suprised me i told her i was born in northern ireland did nt matter to her. when i got to belfast i shared a taxi with two blokes i met on the plane they were going home after working in england i then got the taxi the rest of the way i arrived at my sisters never told her i was comming knocked the door she answered and said "yes" i said it me she looked confused i said william still looked bewildered then i said "your brother" she finally clicked on and invited me in and said so this is the suprise mum was sending we chatted and then we went to my dad's house in sydnham as we pulled up he was going out to walk his dog he never noticed us and we went on in and his bitch was there (new wife) well she was friendly then he came home shook my hand and sat down he was quite then his wife said do you know who this is he said "is it diannes boyfriend "she said no its your son then he gave me a hug. he seemed happy to see me as was i .well as we left he gave me another hug i went back quite often as he got sicker i did his job a sercuity gaurd in boucher cresant near windsor park and behind where i was you could see milltown cemetary .it was a shit job and a lot of nights the windows would shake from bombs going of around belfast.mind you my first night back i heard what sounded like thunder it was actually a bomb from 20 miles away it destroyed lurgan town centre.well it turned out dad had throut cancer and got the hole in it .i used to walk nearly every week sometimes twice .i also got my passport stamped with indefinte stay from the belfast passport agency i told them what happened and they said thats the englis for you.i moved to scotland(another story)and got a visit from the police my dad had died i rang his wife and she said i was nt welcome at the funeral as i never saw him i know it was fucked people who never visited went yet i went all the time and was nt welcome ,i think its cause she knew i disliked her i used to wind her up every chance i could and brought dad a bottle of whiskey as he said to me one time when we were walking the damage is already done .to this day i have nt visited her or my fathers grave she put a head stone on it and only put from his loving wife no mention of his children so people will look and think it was just him and her .one reason i would nt visit because id smash it . he's buried at redburn where i used to play when i was a kid near my old school.