INNOCENCE the one thing i regret i never had .
I remember going out with a girl when i was 13 or 14 and it should have been good you know kissing and just holding hands but for me and probably others like me it was a living nightmare. For me anyway i had been abused from the age of 8 before that i cant rem it could have been loneness that made me forget (i metioned why earlier) anyway i meet this girl and we ended going out i called her and she came to holywood from bangor where she lived we walked for a while and started kissing and i rem thinking that i should be playing with her breasts but also thinking no thats wrong it was nt the first time there was jacquiline .She was a year younger and we were in a tent kissing and because what happened to me i could nt enjoy it because i was thinking does she want me to do more and knowing that i should nt so even though i was sexually active from being abused i still had enough control with these girls to know that i should nt touch them so you see what i mean about innocence i should have just been kissing them and thinking that was the greatest thing.no wonder i was a wild kid its funny how thats the thing that i wanted the most when today you hear about kids wanting to grow up well they should nt being a kid is short .there was one who kinda made me feel like a kid but she went to england and we never actually got to spend anytime alone so thats about as close as i got which is kinda good as i never ruined it by thinking to much.