Lets talk about the christmas break.
I dont know how your's went but mine was good in parts and horrible in others .
i ended up getting a bit of smoke and to my suprise i hated it i actually gave it away in the end.
What got me was the parnioria i love it usually it makes you think about stuff facing your demons. mine were bad ones i got homesick for Australia while i love it over here .
I know i can do more over there i can get a job just like that and just do it .Maybe its because its summer over there at this moment.
What suprised me was that i thought that my daughter would be better off without me in her life.Then i started thinking is it that or is that i dont want to feel pain and as i heard the other night "once you have children you have a part of your heart walking around on the out side" i'm not sure who wrote that but it is so true.
Sometimes i look at my daughter and cry just looking at her does that to me it not bad tears its sad tears in case i let her down in life .
I also felt like it was so hard to go on with life not that i wanted to kill myself thats for cowards to do ill face every day im given sometimes it will be so hard that i wish i could just sleep the clock around ,then other days i just dont want the day to end.
This was a hard christmas for me i felt so sad inside but could nt show anyone .Emma loves christmas and i did nt want to ruin it for her.I have told Emma my best christmas was the one i spent by myself in my room just hiding from the world,But you know what even though i was sad this christmas i have to say it ranks in my top 2 .so i hope everyone had a merry christmas out there ,cause i did in my own strange way and put a couple of demons to rest so thanks to the lord for the strength to do that and may God have a good life planned out for you.
I dont know how your's went but mine was good in parts and horrible in others .
i ended up getting a bit of smoke and to my suprise i hated it i actually gave it away in the end.
What got me was the parnioria i love it usually it makes you think about stuff facing your demons. mine were bad ones i got homesick for Australia while i love it over here .
I know i can do more over there i can get a job just like that and just do it .Maybe its because its summer over there at this moment.
What suprised me was that i thought that my daughter would be better off without me in her life.Then i started thinking is it that or is that i dont want to feel pain and as i heard the other night "once you have children you have a part of your heart walking around on the out side" i'm not sure who wrote that but it is so true.
Sometimes i look at my daughter and cry just looking at her does that to me it not bad tears its sad tears in case i let her down in life .
I also felt like it was so hard to go on with life not that i wanted to kill myself thats for cowards to do ill face every day im given sometimes it will be so hard that i wish i could just sleep the clock around ,then other days i just dont want the day to end.
This was a hard christmas for me i felt so sad inside but could nt show anyone .Emma loves christmas and i did nt want to ruin it for her.I have told Emma my best christmas was the one i spent by myself in my room just hiding from the world,But you know what even though i was sad this christmas i have to say it ranks in my top 2 .so i hope everyone had a merry christmas out there ,cause i did in my own strange way and put a couple of demons to rest so thanks to the lord for the strength to do that and may God have a good life planned out for you.
posted by William at 9:45 PM
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